Invisible Paths
30 May 2005
live this...
Something happened. Everything has greater depth, more colour... it is all somehow more defined and crisp... About time.
28 May 2005
enchanting times
Middle of the night, talking in the Rosebery cantine about being-in-the-world, Dasein, interspersed with jokes and explanations about Schneider's sex life. Schneider furnishes an example in Merleau-Ponty's Phenomenology of Perception. You cannot cut him up, his body is a whole, his window to the world. Fluorescent light, and the sound of crickets from the court yard. Then riding the bike home, it is always easy to get home from Rosebery... just down Mount Pleasant, the post office on the left side. The streets so empty, ha, London is just mine.
Yesterday the craze of two exams, seven-and-a-half hours passed like a flash, left with an achy arm now, fingers twisted into a claw. Cold cold beer in Houghton Street so fresh, and they gave me a stamp on my hand, a Beaver's paw. A grilled sandwich in Don Quixote's, ciabatta and grilled aubergine. Up and down Kingsway, people outside the pubs and restaurants, the warm air of this summer night. Leafy trees, too, but a shade of gray. This is London. Finally learning from and about a friend afterwards, so many things falling into place. Many times almost choked by tears. Almost. "Don't cry" she said. Three years three years it took. It will all take so many more. It is just ongoing, and today it feels like everything will last forever. In the sunshine and cool wind of this morning, the room filled with clarity, beauty, ongoingness.
Yesterday the craze of two exams, seven-and-a-half hours passed like a flash, left with an achy arm now, fingers twisted into a claw. Cold cold beer in Houghton Street so fresh, and they gave me a stamp on my hand, a Beaver's paw. A grilled sandwich in Don Quixote's, ciabatta and grilled aubergine. Up and down Kingsway, people outside the pubs and restaurants, the warm air of this summer night. Leafy trees, too, but a shade of gray. This is London. Finally learning from and about a friend afterwards, so many things falling into place. Many times almost choked by tears. Almost. "Don't cry" she said. Three years three years it took. It will all take so many more. It is just ongoing, and today it feels like everything will last forever. In the sunshine and cool wind of this morning, the room filled with clarity, beauty, ongoingness.
24 May 2005
discover re-discovery of discovering
There is a little book on my shelf, and it has not been opened for many years. It has two authors, and tells a story of yearing, discovering, longing, moments of deep connection.
One one page, somewhere smack in the middle of this book, I found this last night:
"Wednesday, March 28th, 2001 4:29:02 AM
From: Bine
Subject: Dancer on a rope
To: Ian
Wilderness. A forest, quiet after a heavy rain fall. A mountain range, covered with snow, glowing in the setting sun. The blueness of light just before sunrise in snow covered hills. Sinister clouds touching the moved sea. A wide plain filled with rocks and sand and recognised life. Never resting noise in cities, vibrance and breath taking pace. Houses staring at each other and people. My cave will be small, only filled with what I really need. I will share my feelings, thoughts, my all with a mind who carries them on, and on. Reciprocal. We will be powerful. Freedom to move. Leave and return. No boundaries, conventions, restrictions. Personal epistemology. Discussions. Learning. Expansion of ideas. Reading theories, thinking them through. Leave this enclosed solitude behind, find a new one, grow, then solitude to share. Marvel at the feet of nature, explore life in all its facets. A free mind to absorb. Even if I can never sort it out."
Now, over four years later, it is more relevant than ever. It will always be.
One one page, somewhere smack in the middle of this book, I found this last night:
"Wednesday, March 28th, 2001 4:29:02 AM
From: Bine
Subject: Dancer on a rope
To: Ian
Wilderness. A forest, quiet after a heavy rain fall. A mountain range, covered with snow, glowing in the setting sun. The blueness of light just before sunrise in snow covered hills. Sinister clouds touching the moved sea. A wide plain filled with rocks and sand and recognised life. Never resting noise in cities, vibrance and breath taking pace. Houses staring at each other and people. My cave will be small, only filled with what I really need. I will share my feelings, thoughts, my all with a mind who carries them on, and on. Reciprocal. We will be powerful. Freedom to move. Leave and return. No boundaries, conventions, restrictions. Personal epistemology. Discussions. Learning. Expansion of ideas. Reading theories, thinking them through. Leave this enclosed solitude behind, find a new one, grow, then solitude to share. Marvel at the feet of nature, explore life in all its facets. A free mind to absorb. Even if I can never sort it out."
Now, over four years later, it is more relevant than ever. It will always be.
23 May 2005
food for thought
I love what I am studying. A few weeks ago I wrote a paper on how rule following is implicitely adhered to by scientists who think they are getting rid of all "bias" simply by using statistics in their research, and I have been reviewing it for my exam (coming up this Friday.... eeeeeek)
This is a part from my paper and a centre piece of a critique of Wittgenstein's account of rule following. Essentially, Wittgenstein says that the naturalistic sequence of events only has meaning because they are embedded into our social practice. I think this is a valid point of view, especially with his comment that "particular actions belong to particular practices, which are embedded within the wider practices which go to make up a culture. To understand a particular action or practice fully, we may need to grasp the wider context and see how broad collective ideas of what matters for the proper conduct of life contribute to the sense of how to go on particular occasions. But the story is, in the end, self-contained" (Wittgenstein: Philosophical Investigations). This makes a lot of sense to me, in so far that we tie everything we perceive into the framework that constitues our world, including its intricate web of rules which are often not explicite, but almost always have some coercive power. Only with this reference to a "background" can we say that anything has meaning.
However, in his book "Wittgenstein on Rules and Private Language", Saul Kripke identifies a logical problem with following a rule. This is the fact that we learn rules by example, or inductively from past experience. For a rough exposition, consider the fact that every human being who has had contact with mathematics has only ever computed, and seen, a finite number of addition problems. To simplify the argument, it is assumed that the largest number ever employed in these calculations was 57. Now let �+� denote ordinary addition, and let �?� (read �quus�) denote the function
x ? y = x + y, if x<57 and y<57, and otherwise 5
If the addition problem set is 68+57, we would intuitively give �125� as the answer, as �this is just what we do� when confronted with problems of additions according to the rules. However, what about someone who gives the answer �5�?
The problem is that in previous experience, + and ? have given the same answer, and hence there seems to be no reason to accept the answer 5 now in this new addition problem. Yet, Kripke asks �Who is to say that ? is not the function I previously meant by + ?� . How can we find a fact that shows that in previous addition problems we have really meant + and not ?? If we could really establish that we meant +, we could also justify the answer �125� to the addition problem 68+57. It does not help either to point to subsets of rules that establish how to compute addition algorithmically, since these rules were learned through previous finite experience and verbal expressions only.
I love this retort, and hate it at the same time. It is to clever, and so true, and contains so much I would want to agree with.
This is a part from my paper and a centre piece of a critique of Wittgenstein's account of rule following. Essentially, Wittgenstein says that the naturalistic sequence of events only has meaning because they are embedded into our social practice. I think this is a valid point of view, especially with his comment that "particular actions belong to particular practices, which are embedded within the wider practices which go to make up a culture. To understand a particular action or practice fully, we may need to grasp the wider context and see how broad collective ideas of what matters for the proper conduct of life contribute to the sense of how to go on particular occasions. But the story is, in the end, self-contained" (Wittgenstein: Philosophical Investigations). This makes a lot of sense to me, in so far that we tie everything we perceive into the framework that constitues our world, including its intricate web of rules which are often not explicite, but almost always have some coercive power. Only with this reference to a "background" can we say that anything has meaning.
However, in his book "Wittgenstein on Rules and Private Language", Saul Kripke identifies a logical problem with following a rule. This is the fact that we learn rules by example, or inductively from past experience. For a rough exposition, consider the fact that every human being who has had contact with mathematics has only ever computed, and seen, a finite number of addition problems. To simplify the argument, it is assumed that the largest number ever employed in these calculations was 57. Now let �+� denote ordinary addition, and let �?� (read �quus�) denote the function
x ? y = x + y, if x<57 and y<57, and otherwise 5
If the addition problem set is 68+57, we would intuitively give �125� as the answer, as �this is just what we do� when confronted with problems of additions according to the rules. However, what about someone who gives the answer �5�?
The problem is that in previous experience, + and ? have given the same answer, and hence there seems to be no reason to accept the answer 5 now in this new addition problem. Yet, Kripke asks �Who is to say that ? is not the function I previously meant by + ?� . How can we find a fact that shows that in previous addition problems we have really meant + and not ?? If we could really establish that we meant +, we could also justify the answer �125� to the addition problem 68+57. It does not help either to point to subsets of rules that establish how to compute addition algorithmically, since these rules were learned through previous finite experience and verbal expressions only.
I love this retort, and hate it at the same time. It is to clever, and so true, and contains so much I would want to agree with.
22 May 2005
Biofuels
"Diesel fuel made from oilseeds, petrol replaced by ethanol made from corn, sugar or grain - or even straw. They're here and are starting to change energy markets" The Economist, May 14th-20th 2005.
The article is interesting because of two aspects. Firstly of course the issue about having alternative stuff besides oil to keep our cars etc moving. Secondly, there is an issue about supply which mirrors current trade policies of the EU and the USA, which try and keep their markets protected to the detriment of the rest of the world.
To me the trade policy issue is even more interesting than burning ethanol instead of petrol, but of course that is probably connected to my current preocupation with the study of quotas, tariffs and so on. After having spent a bit of time thinking about the CAP (Common Agricultural Policy) of the EU, I really have come to be disgusted at this piece of completely regressive policy: not only is it disproportionally expensive for low income EU citizens, incredibly bad for the environment (ever heard of the green revolution?), but also does the CAP hurt producers in developing countries who have comparative advantages producing many goods that are protected by the CAP. I do not want to get into the CAP here, but what is starting to emerge in the ethanol market is looking like it could go down the same road, creating unfair balances on the way (tilting the benefits, as usual, towards the EU and the US).
With current high oil prices, the ethanol imported from Brazil to the US could have been competitive even without government subsidies (governments subsidise biofuels for ecological and energy security reasons), had it not been for a tariff.
Many obstacles, like building engines that can deal with ethanol, and opposition by car manufacturers and oil firms are starting to be overcome, and on the horizon emerges.... supply, or in other words, where to get the stuff from.
Now, the country that stands out is Brazil which has both the expertise (it lead the way after the oil shock of 1973, by producing ethanol from sugar cane, and building cars that run on it) and the capacity to produce and export huge quantities (Brazil's ethanol output in 2004 was some 15.5 billion litres, expected to rise to 23 billion litres in 2010, according to Alfred Szwarc, ethanol advisor to the Sao Paulo Cane Agroindustry Union). Along with Brazil, there are South Africa, Peru and Guatemala emerging as global ethanol supplying countries, to form what promises to become an important market.
However, and here I am coming back to trade issues, since the EU's offer to buy a billion litres a year from Brazil tariff free has caused protests from EU farmers, who see ethanol production as a new market for themselves. The maddening but so common twist is that US American costs 50% more than Brazilian ethanol, and European costs 150% as much.
So.... a huge comparative advantage at something that might well take over from oil in the future, for a whole bunch of countries that could use that to make a significant leap towards a prosperous future.
BUT NO.... (and this drives me mad beyond reason) in come the Europeans and US Americans, imposing quotas, tariffs and whatever they can, to distort global trade in their favour, thus keeping countries that could provide the stuff much cheaper and more efficiently, in downright poverty. It just makes no sense to me. And here it is not "just" sugar or some other raw agricultural product, but something that is going to have a significant impact on the environment, and may even extend to global politics... Imagine a world less dependent on fossile fuels...
Trade policy � la EU (or US) is one of the biggest international crimes unfolding every day.
(also check out http://www.planetark.com/dailynewsstory.cfm/newsid/27916/story.htm, and can anyone please teach me how to put snazzy links into my postings, so that the ugly ones like this one don't show?)
The article is interesting because of two aspects. Firstly of course the issue about having alternative stuff besides oil to keep our cars etc moving. Secondly, there is an issue about supply which mirrors current trade policies of the EU and the USA, which try and keep their markets protected to the detriment of the rest of the world.
To me the trade policy issue is even more interesting than burning ethanol instead of petrol, but of course that is probably connected to my current preocupation with the study of quotas, tariffs and so on. After having spent a bit of time thinking about the CAP (Common Agricultural Policy) of the EU, I really have come to be disgusted at this piece of completely regressive policy: not only is it disproportionally expensive for low income EU citizens, incredibly bad for the environment (ever heard of the green revolution?), but also does the CAP hurt producers in developing countries who have comparative advantages producing many goods that are protected by the CAP. I do not want to get into the CAP here, but what is starting to emerge in the ethanol market is looking like it could go down the same road, creating unfair balances on the way (tilting the benefits, as usual, towards the EU and the US).
With current high oil prices, the ethanol imported from Brazil to the US could have been competitive even without government subsidies (governments subsidise biofuels for ecological and energy security reasons), had it not been for a tariff.
Many obstacles, like building engines that can deal with ethanol, and opposition by car manufacturers and oil firms are starting to be overcome, and on the horizon emerges.... supply, or in other words, where to get the stuff from.
Now, the country that stands out is Brazil which has both the expertise (it lead the way after the oil shock of 1973, by producing ethanol from sugar cane, and building cars that run on it) and the capacity to produce and export huge quantities (Brazil's ethanol output in 2004 was some 15.5 billion litres, expected to rise to 23 billion litres in 2010, according to Alfred Szwarc, ethanol advisor to the Sao Paulo Cane Agroindustry Union). Along with Brazil, there are South Africa, Peru and Guatemala emerging as global ethanol supplying countries, to form what promises to become an important market.
However, and here I am coming back to trade issues, since the EU's offer to buy a billion litres a year from Brazil tariff free has caused protests from EU farmers, who see ethanol production as a new market for themselves. The maddening but so common twist is that US American costs 50% more than Brazilian ethanol, and European costs 150% as much.
So.... a huge comparative advantage at something that might well take over from oil in the future, for a whole bunch of countries that could use that to make a significant leap towards a prosperous future.
BUT NO.... (and this drives me mad beyond reason) in come the Europeans and US Americans, imposing quotas, tariffs and whatever they can, to distort global trade in their favour, thus keeping countries that could provide the stuff much cheaper and more efficiently, in downright poverty. It just makes no sense to me. And here it is not "just" sugar or some other raw agricultural product, but something that is going to have a significant impact on the environment, and may even extend to global politics... Imagine a world less dependent on fossile fuels...
Trade policy � la EU (or US) is one of the biggest international crimes unfolding every day.
(also check out http://www.planetark.com/dailynewsstory.cfm/newsid/27916/story.htm, and can anyone please teach me how to put snazzy links into my postings, so that the ugly ones like this one don't show?)
15 May 2005
14 May 2005
Saudades
I received an email today from Francisco Javier, my boss on my traineeship in Cali (Colombia). He wrote how much everyone there misses me, and how things are with Fundaci�n Colombia en Marcha.
...Memories telling stories about three amazing months spent with people that grew to my heart so quickly. The feeling of Cali, because it is a feeling that one gets there... the Cali feeling, with Salsa blasting out of every store, panader�a, bus... The faces of all these people are so clear in my mind, all Alce (AIESEC Cali) members, Francisco javier and Mar�a Fernanada, his wife; his three daughters, and Ino and Mary, the two empleadas working in his house. I remember long evenings spent chatting to Mary in the kitchen, sharing our oh-so-different worlds with each other, or how Ino, with the exclamation "Eres una pluma!!" jumped on my suitcase to force it shut when my traineeship was over, and then gave me a huge hug. But also the faces of the people in the street, on my short way to the office: the vigilante, a guy who watches over the cars parked in front of the restaurant opposite our house, who, every morning, shouted "C�mo manici�?!" across the street, waving the red cloth in his hand. Or the girl selling orange juice at another corner, every time I passed we exchanged a greeting, and curious looks.
It was all this and much much more that convinced me to be on the MC somewhere. It is my wish to make these sorts of experiences possible for others, and learn so much more in the process. I am overwhelmed with anticipation and ambition... Switzerland get ready.
And I need to find a way go back to Colombia soon...
...Memories telling stories about three amazing months spent with people that grew to my heart so quickly. The feeling of Cali, because it is a feeling that one gets there... the Cali feeling, with Salsa blasting out of every store, panader�a, bus... The faces of all these people are so clear in my mind, all Alce (AIESEC Cali) members, Francisco javier and Mar�a Fernanada, his wife; his three daughters, and Ino and Mary, the two empleadas working in his house. I remember long evenings spent chatting to Mary in the kitchen, sharing our oh-so-different worlds with each other, or how Ino, with the exclamation "Eres una pluma!!" jumped on my suitcase to force it shut when my traineeship was over, and then gave me a huge hug. But also the faces of the people in the street, on my short way to the office: the vigilante, a guy who watches over the cars parked in front of the restaurant opposite our house, who, every morning, shouted "C�mo manici�?!" across the street, waving the red cloth in his hand. Or the girl selling orange juice at another corner, every time I passed we exchanged a greeting, and curious looks.
It was all this and much much more that convinced me to be on the MC somewhere. It is my wish to make these sorts of experiences possible for others, and learn so much more in the process. I am overwhelmed with anticipation and ambition... Switzerland get ready.
And I need to find a way go back to Colombia soon...
12 May 2005
Revision time
Besides all the pain of hours of trying to fill my brain with the kind of knowledge they might expect me to caugh up in the exams, I do have moments of enjoyment. Actually, pure beauty, such as in this passage from Jean-Paul Sartre's "La Naus�e", which I came across when slowly trying to make some sense of his "Being and Nothingness":
"It was breathtaking. Never before these days I would have guessed what it means to exist. I was like the others who are going for a walk on the sea shore in their summer dresses. I said like they did: the sea IS green; that white dot over there IS a seagull, but I did not feel that it existed, that the seagull was an existing seagull. Usually existence hides itself.
And all of a sudden: with one flash it was there, and it was clear like the sun: the existence had unveiled itself. It had lost its inoffensive attire of an abstract category, it was the substance of the things themselves, this root was made from existence."
The translation is a bit ad hoc, but it is still such a clear and beautiful exposition of Sartre's existentialism, and it makes me so happy to read it. Long live my decision to choose to study for a degree that I really love.
"It was breathtaking. Never before these days I would have guessed what it means to exist. I was like the others who are going for a walk on the sea shore in their summer dresses. I said like they did: the sea IS green; that white dot over there IS a seagull, but I did not feel that it existed, that the seagull was an existing seagull. Usually existence hides itself.
And all of a sudden: with one flash it was there, and it was clear like the sun: the existence had unveiled itself. It had lost its inoffensive attire of an abstract category, it was the substance of the things themselves, this root was made from existence."
The translation is a bit ad hoc, but it is still such a clear and beautiful exposition of Sartre's existentialism, and it makes me so happy to read it. Long live my decision to choose to study for a degree that I really love.
11 May 2005
60 years and 3 days ago
Last night, in that twilight-feeling between wake and sleep, I remembered what exactly I did 10 years and three days ago to commemorate the 50 year anniversary of the end of WW2. I was part of a group in school, who acted as human reminders of the holocaust victims, complete with ragged cloths as costumes, and plenty of theatre paint for wounds and hollow eyes. Thus attired, we sat around corners of the school during the breaks throughout the day, in front of information boards with facts about the war and the holocaust, which were prepared in various history classes. We caused quite a lot of attention both within, and outside of the school, and I remember vividly the feeling of constant shock I had throughout the day. Somehow history came alive, and with it the realisation that the victims were human beings like me, and that I could have been one of them. I just happen to grow up in a more fortunate time. The hollow eyes and wounds could have been real, the costumes we prepared by ripping old clothes could have been my only possessions.
Just when the lessons of that day finished, all the students from my school went outside, and we formed a circle around our school, holding hands, to protect our community from racism, nazism, and all other forms of extremism that so easily spark wars.
I wonder what happened in my school 3 days ago to pay tribute to history?
Just when the lessons of that day finished, all the students from my school went outside, and we formed a circle around our school, holding hands, to protect our community from racism, nazism, and all other forms of extremism that so easily spark wars.
I wonder what happened in my school 3 days ago to pay tribute to history?
09 May 2005
The Pope's Car
Time and again, Ebay is a great place for amusement. Such as a few days ago, when the Pope's old car fetched 188.938,88 Euro. No joke. The people behind an online casino from the United States were nuts enough to bid to win.
The auction was clicked 6.8 million times...
Why would anyone want the Pope's crappy old VW Golf?
The auction was clicked 6.8 million times...
Why would anyone want the Pope's crappy old VW Golf?
08 May 2005
33m meditation (and back)
First it is the ease of movement, the sensation of weightless floating. The gurgling noises from the waves and splashes around, heartbeat, steady and regular. Then the rythm of movement, again and again. Minute after minute, water against skin, controlled breath. Then pushing through the burning pain of my muscles, again rythmic, but more forceful, with pulsating veins. Finally there is a kind of numbness, nothing matters, but the rythm, pulling through and through, again and again.
All the while, my thoughts can circle freely, and soon focus, become sharp, aided by the constant repetitive movements. Later, under the shower, I slowly leave this liberating trance.
All the while, my thoughts can circle freely, and soon focus, become sharp, aided by the constant repetitive movements. Later, under the shower, I slowly leave this liberating trance.
05 May 2005
It's MAGIC (you know, never believe it's not so!)
I spent the last week at KickOff, mostly in beautiful Schwarzsee, in a not so beautiful military camp, where the blankets on the beds had to be folded "military-style". But the surroundings with the lake (which was really black) and the mountains (where we could see the snow melting in the sun) added to my general feeling of excitement, happiness, and slowly but steadily regressing anxiousness about the year ahead. People around me were amazing, intelligent and thoughtful.
Back in London now, I smile at all the learning points about my first "real and Swiss" conference...
- Delegates do not like to sit in the first 3 rows in plenary, but complain in the back that the cannot see
- The OC pushed looking after delegates and the conference team to new heights... dare I to mention the smoothies, the decorated parties
- The new members really "got it" (quote Monica, MCVPe Czech Republic), and one delegate told me just before closing plenary that he had "finally found what he was looking for"
- Members are generally older than in the AIESEC I am so far used to, which makes for great conversations, and gives a different vibe to everything
- The MC office is amazing... what a new home! It has a dish washer, shower, bed...
- Delegates are late for absolutely everything
- I cannot wait to start
- Hey Facis, let me see you get it down (no way, no way... etc. "Jump, shake your boodie, jump jump shake your boodie") and it worked...
- Closing plenary , and the complete silence as we all stood in a line facing the alps...
Back in London now, I smile at all the learning points about my first "real and Swiss" conference...
- Delegates do not like to sit in the first 3 rows in plenary, but complain in the back that the cannot see
- The OC pushed looking after delegates and the conference team to new heights... dare I to mention the smoothies, the decorated parties
- The new members really "got it" (quote Monica, MCVPe Czech Republic), and one delegate told me just before closing plenary that he had "finally found what he was looking for"
- Members are generally older than in the AIESEC I am so far used to, which makes for great conversations, and gives a different vibe to everything
- The MC office is amazing... what a new home! It has a dish washer, shower, bed...
- Delegates are late for absolutely everything
- I cannot wait to start
- Hey Facis, let me see you get it down (no way, no way... etc. "Jump, shake your boodie, jump jump shake your boodie") and it worked...
- Closing plenary , and the complete silence as we all stood in a line facing the alps...
