real question: why can't i just go and do something everyone else i graduated with is doing?
(check facebook for what that could be)
answer: because that would not be real enough

enjoyed quite some real life recently.
looked like a porcelain figure on a mantelpiece during a beautiful ceremony. spent nights talking and watching couples disappear in the forest. bitched about rules, tried to circumvent them, and got busted. left a hat on a bus in istanbul. spent time reading on empty dutch stations in the middle of the night. coped with some new challenges that seemed not to have solutions. caught a fresh breath of honesty and dealt with the pain to emerge different and free. spent time laughing smiling poking your side and telling you not to get stressed.

still need a bike. still more things i do not know how to solve. still more flights to book. still not sure when I can hang up the hammock in my room (need a powerdrill to place the hooks). still a lot to communicate. still more pain to deal with.
so it is all pretty real.  ¶ 10:18 PM